Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
