I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
