please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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