oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think your dad took our porno
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
