11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have fence marks all over my body
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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