giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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