remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize