Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
