Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
