I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
