So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
