drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
