We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
