I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
