that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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