No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
