there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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