so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
