He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
