Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
