So gin and wine won't be happening again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
