She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
