do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
