After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize