No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
