i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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