I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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