I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
