dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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