I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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