I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
