They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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