I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
