just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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