I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
