Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize