so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
COCAINE IS GR8
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
