It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
