You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
