if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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