I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
