Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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