this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
