Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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