addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
