Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
