you would pick up someone in the library
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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