How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
