now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
