Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk

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(919): View more from North Carolina

bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

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(402): View more from Nebraska

what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

are you high?

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(682): View more from Texas

I plan on gettn treatment center drunk

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(415): View more from California

Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.

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(416): View more from Toronto

She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

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(514): View more from Quebec

I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic

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(209): View more from California

So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...

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