She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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