His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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