Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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