Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
