I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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