i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
