Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
