Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
