She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
