wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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