Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
