She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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